BDSM Gear

This week we’re talking about Gags, handcuffs, collars & leashes.

As we delve further into BDSM, we’re taking a closer look at some BDSM gear specifics, namely gags, handcuffs, collars and leashes. What BDSM gear should we cover next?

GAGS

HANDCUFFS

COLLARS & LEASHES

A multitude of different devices that control the mouth, either keeping it open or closed.

@anitasansiqii

The sun was setting but I had a job to do ##kinks ##hose ##fyp

♬ Lose Control - Meduza & Becky Hill & Goodboys

Those who enjoy being gagged might long for the feeling of helplessness that it brings, the feeling of being under someone else’s control. Yet another allure of gags is the sense of humiliation some feel. Perhaps your senses are heightened when your ability to speak is taken from you or you get off on the vulnerability. Whatever the reason, there’s a few things we think you should know before you get right into it. 

There are more types of gags than you might initially imagine: ball gag, wiffle gag, bit gag, ring gag, spider gag, dental gag, inflatable gag, insertable gag...

And for those of us hoping to use something we already have lying around the house: scarves, bandanas, dish towels - whatever else may come to mind - be our guest. There’s no reason to start outright with a big purchase. Additionally, these household tools are perfect if you have any hesitancy but still want to lean into play with gags. It’s never a bad idea to start with something that allows for the sensation but doesn’t overwhelm. 

For those with little to no experience in kink, the feeling of helplessness can be overwhelming and induce panic - and it can happen even if you’ve been gagged hundreds of times. Make certain to have a plan in place for getting yourself or a partner out of a gag at a moment’s notice - whether this be having safety shears on hand or choosing a gag that doesn’t lock. Because the person in the gag has no verbal means of communicating distress, make certain to have an unspoken, physical cue or hand gesture in mind.

And while we’re on the topic of basic gag need-to-know info, make certain to clean your gag after a scene!

Pro Tip: Even for those of us who’ve worn gags in various scenes can vouch for a sore jaw. It never hurts to start off a scene without the gag and put it on for the last 10 to 15 min.

A BDSM classic. Many who dip their toes into kink find interest in handcuffs.

@incorporealash

Ngl I've scared myself sometimes ##bdsm ##nsfw ##k1nktok ##fyp

♬ original sound - tasmiyah 💛

Handcuffs offer restraint in a very specific way: cold metal on the skin, the weight, the sound they make as the chains clink together and when the metal closures come together...For those sensitive to play with enhanced senses, handcuffs can be a lot of fun. With the obvious association between handcuffs and law enforcement, there’s great potential for roleplay when bringing handcuffs into the bedroom if you feel so inclined.

While many who are new to BDSM may first get their start with handcuffs, we wouldn’t recommend them to those who aren’t familiar with being bound or restrained. To avoid nerve damage, it's important to do further research into safely using handcuffs. Handcuffs aren’t forgiving, comfortable or meant to be worn for long periods of time. After all, they were designed for law enforcement purposes, not BDSM. 

Additionally, cheaper model handcuffs may be made with lower quality metals, have sharp edges or break more easily. You’ll find it’s not too difficult to find police-issue handcuffs online that are robust and high quality which double-lock. But even the highest of quality handcuffs are known to break skin and leave bruises. Keep in mind as well that fuzzy cuffs don’t offer much protection from metal when making any and all handcuff purchases. 

Our tips for handcuff safety:

1. Cuff your partner with their palms facing in, as this is much gentler on the hands and wrists and lowers risk of nerve damage. 
2. Do not over-tighten handcuffs. Leave a range of movement while fastening the cuffs. It’s better they be too loose than too tight. 
3. Double-lock your cuffs, which will prevent them from tightening on their own. Law enforcement grade handcuffs should double lock. This will be especially important when moving while playing or if a scene includes a cuffed, struggling partner. 
4. Don’t leave your restrained partner unattended - you never know what might go wrong while you’re out of the room. Instead, simulate this instead with a blindfold. 
5. Always know where your keys are! It never hurts to have more than one copy. It never hurts to have more than two copies. 

A great alternative to traditional metal handcuffs are Quickie Cuffs. The universal flexible silicone fits to anyone’s wrists without room to worry about keys or discomfort. They’re touted to be strong but soft and secure and are the first flexible cuffs on the market. And in an emergency - silicone can be cut through while metal cannot.

For pet play, submissives and those who like to be controlled.

@shxymeless

##bdsm ##kinkster ##subdom ##domsub ##sublife ##brat ##bratty ##brattamer ##brattysub ##mommydom ##daddydom ##dominantdaddy #dominant ##submissive ##kitten

♬ sonido original - POPi TV

There are many collar types. Dependent on what you’re looking to get from play, different collars will appeal to you, whether it be leather, chain, solid metal, bondage collars, or posture collars. You can always hit up your local pet store...and if an employee asks if you need help, just let them know you and your dog coincidentally happens to have the same size neck as you. Or maybe say you’re just looking and keep your kinks on the down low. Or take a measurement of your neck before you go and avoid an unsavory interaction all together.

You’ll find leashes come in just as many varieties as collars do, and most of the time choosing a leash comes down to finding something that looks nice with your collar and pleases you aesthetically.

Wearing a leash or collar is often a sign of submission. When using a collar in a scene, perhaps the leashed partner crawls on the floor while the other walks them. Additionally, you can always use the leash and collar during a pet, puppy, kitten or pony play scene. A leash can be used to hold one partner in place during sex or held from behind while in doggystyle. Guide the collared partner where you want them by pulling or directing the leash or put the leash in their mouth as a gag. 

To stay safe while playing, make sure to size correctly and not overtighten the collar. Additionally, be kind to your partners’ neck and don’t crush their windpipe.