Sex Topics: What you should discuss with a new partner
We get it, the last thing on your mind when you have the butterflies that come with meeting something new is talking about the things that really matter.
But these things could have a huge impact latter on. Don’t get caught up in the moment and end up with regrets.
Those butterflies will undoubtedly die if you end up with an STI, unplanned pregnancy or have your heart broken if you suddenly realize the two of you aren’t exclusive.
We’ve broken these topics into 2 categories:
Your Health & Well-Being
When your wellness is on the line, having a conversation about your past -- and present status is a must.
Your STI Status
One of the first questions you should be asking before getting it in is when the last time your partner has been tested. You should be disclosing this information too, without having to be asked.
Here's a few ways you can broach the subject:
"I'm a little nervous about having this conversation, but I think we should talk a little about our sexual health."
"I was last texted ____. The results came back negative/ the results came back positive but have been treated. When was the last time you were tested."
Being upfront, acknowledging the apprehension you may have or coming forward with your status is a great way to start the conversation.
Safe Sex & Contraception
Her: I got that wet wet 💅🏽💅🏽— How Bout Those Chiefs! (@YoTell_MeHow) August 22, 2019
Your Dick In The Condom: pic.twitter.com/HrFbOf1dzy
While pregnancy is only a concern for those in hetero relationships, safe sex is a concern for everyone.
A good rule of thumb for heterosexual people: if it has yet to be discussed, bring a condom.
This applies to those in any relationship when we look beyond contraception. While condoms are decently effective against preventing pregnancy, they're effective for practicing safe sex as well.
If your partner has an STI that currently has no cure, a condom is a good call. Of course, what you and your partner decide upon is on a couple to couple basis and will be different for everyone.
There are other means of contraception, obviously, and you and your (hetero) partner may decide to rely on the pill, the patch, the ring...you get it.
Keeping Your Heart Safe
Sure, the well-being of your physical being is important, but lets think about keeping your feelings safe too.
We all begin a new relationship with a certain mindset.
For some, it seems obvious that the two of you are only seeing each other.
And for others, it seems obvious that the two of you aren't exclusive until its explicitly stated.
Whatever side you stand on, if its important to you, have the conversation.
If you don't do exclusive relationships, I'm sure you've got the poly talk on lock. Poly people usually do, in my experience.
How to please one another
When I choke her and she choke me back pic.twitter.com/if1GwU3Ty6— Chloe Bailey Stan Account (@tryna_be_famous) August 1, 2018
Easier said than done, right?
You might ask and not get a real answer. Or you may never ask and hope you're doing the right things.
Every body is a little different and responds to touch accordingly -- so it really isn't a matter of whether you're touching them "wrong" or "right".
A good place to start is making yourself vulnerable.
Tell your partner what you like, what makes you feel good and they'll likely open up and do the same.