The Beginner's Guide to Swinging
Swinging can be an exciting prospect for couples who want to explore other lovers while maintaining a strong, loving union. Those in the lifestyle will tell you there’s just something about watching your partner fuck someone else that’s too hot to put into words. As hot as it is though, it can also get pretty messy if you don’t take the time to agree on what you want beforehand. If you’re considering a venture into the swinging lifestyle, these tips can help you get started without hurting your relationship.
Set the Ground Rules
Once you decide the swinging lifestyle is something you want to try, lay out some ground rules that both parties agree to. Don’t be afraid to come right out and say what you are and are not comfortable with up front. You definitely don’t want to find yourself in a situation where you’re hooking up with another person or couple and one of you ends up feeling angry or resentful after all is said and done. Are you going to soft-swap or full-swap? Is penetration ever ok? Can one half of the couple venture into another room with a playmate or must you be together at all times? These are things you must discuss beforehand.
Choose Someone You Met at the Same Time
Selecting a partner one of you knew previously or worse yet, had a previous relationship with can get very messy because it opens the door to jealousy, resentment, and ultimately infidelity. Instead, find someone new and vet them together. Make sure you both click and that the other parties aren’t more attracted to one of you than the other. Also make sure the other parties know up front that you are solid as a couple and just looking for sex, not an additional romantic partner.
Communicate Only as a Couple
Things can get dicey when you’re communicating with other partners individually. Certain messages can be misconstrued as flirtation when they are not, or worse yet, one half of the couple may start to connect with the other person in ways that don’t involve their partner. To avoid this becoming an issue, create a group chat or email and don’t communicate outside of that. Use this to set up dates, talk about ground rules, or even exchange sexy pictures together.
Don’t Use Swinging as a Way to “Fix” Your Relationship
Make sure your relationship is solid before you even think of bringing someone else into the bedroom. If you feel like you are shaky ground to begin with, bringing other people into the mix is just going to complicate things and ultimately end your relationship. Think about it – if you and your partner are constantly arguing, is watching them fuck someone else going to make you feel any better, or will it just piss you off? Nine times out of ten, it’s the latter.
Check in Regularly
Sometimes relationships, wants, needs, and desires evolve over time so what was ok at the beginning of your swinging adventure might not be ok later on. Or, you might find yourself becoming more open to things you previously weren’t comfortable with as you get into the swing of things. That’s why it’s always important to check in with each other regularly to make sure you still are and continue to be on the same page.
Always Use Protection
This should be a given, but let’s be honest -- it’s easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment and forget things like protection. Keep in mind however that an unwanted pregnancy or STD could be devastating -- especially if the unwanted pregnancy happens to be with a play partner and not the main partner. Always use condoms, and make sure all women involved are on birth control, if possible.
Swinging can be an exciting and scary adventure to start on, but keep these tips in mind and you’ll be well on your way to the kind of sex life you never thought was possible.