Let's Talk About It: Male Masturbation, Sex Toys & Anal Play

At one point, female masturbation was something we didn’t talk of in the mainstream. It was something that was unheard of and taboo. It makes sense then, that a hard shift in this conversation was coming. While women were sexualized, they themselves were deterred from being sexual. 

The pendulum took a strong shift in the opposite direction. Which is great! In the midst of this revolution, female masturbation has become a trendy, popularized topic. While female masturbation through aid of sex toys specifically is no longer taboo, it’s become almost a taboo to speak of male masturbation through means of sex toys. While women are empowered through use of vibrators and dildos, why is it then that there is negative discord surrounding men who choose to use fleshlights, for example?

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A fleshlight is nothing more than an inverted dildo.

And let’s be honest, ALL of us, across all genders, sexualities... we all get tired of using our hands to get off.

The same way that the sex positive community will preach the importance of keeping partnered sex interesting, we’d argue that keeping solo sex varied is just as important!

We tend to stereotype men as “losers” or “undesirable” if they aren’t having sex with a woman but are instead getting off through use of a sex toy. But not all men want to have sex with women. Some men want to have sex with other men and some aren’t interested in having sex at all. And while some men do like having sex with women, finding a desirable partner, whether you’re a man or woman, no matter where your interests lie, is no easy feat.

While we’re advocates for explorative sex, wild sex, casual sex, sex however which way you want to have it -- a partner isn’t always available to us, and even when one is, masturbation is important! Getting to know yourself is important and healthy. Pleasing a partner is great, but we all need to take some time to please ourselves. 

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Are we forgetting too that men have prostates? We’ll advocate for toys that hit the G-spot all day long, but let’s not forget about the P-spot.

While we encourage anal play for women, the same can’t be said for men. While we are coming into an age where male anal play is starting to be on the table of conversation, we’d argue that it isn’t coming fast enough. It isn’t being brought to the light the way it maybe ought to be and it’s often discussed under the pretense of pegging.

Men -- more power to you if you want to be pegged, but is this really what you want, or is it what you’ve been told the acceptable means of anal play is for you?

Anal play can be a great thing to introduce in partnered and solo sex, but its even better when its on your own terms and not part of a movement, a recent craze -- unless that’s what you’re into. We certainly aren’t trying to convince anyone of what they do or don’t want, we’d just encourage you to take your own desires into account. 

Pegging has become part of the movement toward woman empowerment, a movement that is important, but often leaves men’s pleasure out of the conversation.

We’ve gotten to a point in which the only “acceptable” way for a man to dabble in anal play is if he’s bent over for a woman.

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Let’s talk about anal play in a realm that is self-exploratory, that’s masturabatory in nature and for the pleasure of no one else but the man involved.

There’s a STRONG, lingering and incorrect belief that anal sex is only for gay men. It’s ridiculous to think that in a day in age where we’re so progressive that this belief would still be held by anyone.

And prostate orgasms? Those who’ve had them will likely tell you it's unmatched and unlike anything they’ve experienced before.

Pleasure is and should be for everyone.

So while it may not be “trendy” to talk about male masturbation, we’d certainly love to see more discourse on it.