If you’re thinking about sleeping with another woman - whether it’s your first time or your hundredth time - you’ve come to the right place. 

Girl-on-girl sex or also known as “lesbian sex”, is sex between two vulva-having people. But contrary to what we usually hear, it is NOT just for lesbians. You can enjoy lesbian sex if you’re a bisexual woman, pansexual woman, a trans person with a vulva, or even a straight-identifying woman who wants to experiment and explore female-on-female intercourse.  

In the world of porn, lesbian sex is a popular category. Pornhub even reported that “lesbian” was the most searched term in the United States in the year 2019. Most women love lesbian sex because it's fair, it is not predictable, it could go on for hours, and you can actually cum.

Yep! Girl-on-girl sex can be as pleasurable and satisfying as the typical penis-in-vagina act, and in fact, even better! 

Ladies who engage in lesbian sex tend to have greater and healthier sex because they have a deeper emotional connection to each other. Let’s admit it - a woman knows a woman’s body best. They know where their clitoris is and how to play with it to get satisfying orgasms. They know how to tease each other and can give the greatest care, love, and emotion that no man can surpass. 

Another great thing about lesbian sex is there's a lot of ways to enjoy it. Those who say that female-on-female sex can only be done by scissoring (grinding the vulvas against each other for stimulation) don't really know much about lesbian sex. It's a common myth, but in reality, many girl x girl couples never scissor. 

Lesbian sex can also go beyond being just penetrative. Other types of lesbian sex include:

• Oral sex
• Mutual masturbation
• Genital rubbing 
• Using sex toys
• Hand jobs, like fingering, clitoral play, and fisting
• Anal play
• Breast and nipple play

So whatever your kink may be, lesbian sex can make it happen. But of course, to fully enjoy girl-on-girl sex acts, you need to bear in mind consent and communication - which brings us to our first tip.

1. Talk To Your Partner

If it’s your first time to sleep with another woman, be honest with her and tell her. Who knows, maybe it’s her first time as well, and you can both explore each other’s bodies and sexualities. Tell her what you want and ask her what feels good for her or how she likes to be touched.

Sure, you understand her anatomy way better than men. But it’s important to remember that women’s bodies still come in many forms. What one woman finds pleasurable might be boring to someone else. For instance, some girls will enjoy fast tongue flicks when getting oral sex, while others prefer slow and passionate clit licking. Ask questions, check in with her, and always pay attention to how she responds to your touches. 

2. Give Oral Like A Pro

According to Gigi Engle, a certified sex coach and sexologist: 

"The clitoris is the center of the female orgasm. The vast majority of female orgasms are clitoris-based in some fashion. The external clitoral glans—that little nubbin you see at the top of the labia—has more than 8,000 nerve endings."

Simply put, most women need clitoral stimulation to reach the big O, and a great way to do that is through oral sex. 

If you're the one doing the pleasuring, start slow when going down on your partner. Kiss and lick her inner thighs, and once you feel that she’s ready, lick around the labia and suck her clitoris. Don't be afraid to experiment by varying the pressure. You can move your tongue in circles or spell your name using your tongue. As you do these, pay attention to how she’s reacting. You will know if she’s enjoying it. 

You can also use your whole mouth and not just your tongue. When your partner begs for penetration, insert your fingers into her while still giving oral to stimulate both her vagina and clit. You can even position yourself so you both can receive and perform oral sex on each other. The best position is the tried-and-true classic: 69. However, if you like to be in control, you can sit on your partner’s face and direct the movements and motion while receiving oral.

3. Pleasure With Fingers

Again, when it comes to having lesbian sex, you can do whatever feels good. But nothing can beat the classic fingering. If your partner told you they want to be penetrated, let your fingers do the job. Inserting two fingers will give her the best pleasure, but be sure to ask her first if she’s comfortable with it. If not, you can start slow with one finger until her slit is lubricated. 

Once you’re inside her, curl your fingers like a hook. Pull them towards you and then straighten them again to stimulate her g-spot. You can go slowly at first and then faster. Experiment with different speeds and pressure until you figure out what feels more pleasurable for her. 

You and your partner can also mutually masturbate. Lay down next to each other and crisscross your hands so you can play with each other's genitals. Do some dirty talking with her to steam things up more. And remember to just take it slow and enjoy the moment. According to Chicago, Illinois-based certified sex therapist, Rae McDaniel: 

"Don't rush towards a finish line. The fun is in the journey, not the destination."

IMPORTANT TIP WHEN DOING HAND JOBS: Trim your nails!

4. Grab Your Favorite Sex Toy

Your tongue and fingers aren’t the only “tool” you can put inside you or your partner. There are also dildos, vibrators, and butt plugs. 

Wendasha Jenkins Hall, a sex educator specializing in the well-being of women and femmes, said: "Those who enjoy penetration can experiment with different types, shapes, and sizes when it comes to toys.” 

Here are some of our recommended pleasure gadgets:

• Vibrators - Guide your partner’s hand where you want the vibrator to go. You can have her take it to your clit or your nipples for some fun nipple play. 

• Nipple Stimulators - Want more nipple play? You and your partner can each wear your own set of nipple clamps, nipple pumps, or nipple suckers while your hands are exploring each other's bodies.

• Double-ended dildos - Double-sided dildos are the best friend of every woman engaging in lesbian sex (given you’re into the penetration game). Rub each end of the dildo with water-based lube to allow for comfortable, simultaneous penetration. 

• Anal toys - Inserting butt plugs and anal vibrators can feel really good! Just be sure to use a large amount of lube because the anus doesn’t produce natural lubrication. 

5. Strap On!

If doggy style and deep penetration are your things, try a strap-on. Strap-on is a dildo and harness set designed for penetrative vaginal or anal sex. The dildo is literally strapped in front of the wearer's genitals to give deep thrusts. As Wendasha Jenkins Hall also said, two people with vaginas can enjoy dog style with a strap-on.

“It's great as the receiving partner can stimulate their nipple and clitoris with their fingers or a vibrator while being stroked from behind."

For the wearer, strap-on sex can be physically pleasurable, too. The base of the dildo can press against their clitoris as they thrust. 

Remember, though, that using a strap-on is NOT a must for you to enjoy lesbian sex. It’s a fun addition but it’s not necessary. Besides, there are women who don’t enjoy penetrative sex and are not open to experimenting with a strap-on. 

If these tips aren't enough, here are additional ways to have the best lesbian sex of your life:

• Tons of nipple play
• Rubbing your clit on her leg
• Getting fingered from behind
• Vaginal or anal fisting
• Exploring other positions (scissoring isn't the only way to do lesbian sex!)

Lesbian sex has no rules. Just do what feels right and don’t do what doesn’t. Another great thing about it is it doesn’t have to be all about orgasm (unlike in P-in-V sex where some men are more focused on cumming). Orgasms aren’t the indicator of sexual success in lesbian sex. So just be in the moment, explore, and have fun. And don’t forget to play it safe!