Pegging 101: The No Limit Guide

What is Pegging?

Are you ready to flip you and your partner’s regular dynamic on it’s head? Then strap-on (ha, pegging pun)!

Pegging is the act in which a woman wears a strap on and penetrates her male partner anally. The term and act of pegging is typically used and practiced by cis, hetersexual couples -- but anyone can be peg or be pegged, so don’t let “typical” slow you down. Pegging can be seen as a way to flip traditional gender dynamics and reverse the roles -- instead of being penetrated, the woman now “holds the power” so to speak and penetrates her male partner. 

There is, without a doubt, power held by the male partner who penetrates. When he gives this up, he relinquishes power and takes on the submissive role. 

Pegging allows the woman in the relationship to take hold of some power she typically gives up. In heterosexual couples, the woman doesn’t often have complete control over the pace or rythm. When she penetrates her partner, she holds greater power, which is why many women are often interested in pegging. The role reversal that occurs during penetration when you are typically the one being penetrated is a pleasure that we’re convinced can’t be matched by any other sexual act. 

But forget power, role reversal and relationship dynamics and consider this: men have prostates. Essentially the G-spot for men, the prostate can bring on a completely different orgasm than can be achieved from ejaculation alone.

How do I talk to my partner about pegging?

Intimidated by the idea of bringing up pegging to your partner? That’s understandable -- but it doesn’t mean it can’t be done, whether you’re the one wanting to peg or be pegged. If ass play is already a dynamic in your relationship, bringing up the topic of pegging likely won’t be a far stretch. Alternatively, if your partner has made mention of it before, asking for it (whether man or woman), won’t be too wild an idea. 

But what if your request for pegging is a “cold call” so to speak? The same way you wouldn’t dive right into the booty, ease into the conversation of pegging as well. What turns you on about the prospects of pegging or being pegged? If you are able to say, “It would be so hot to watch you be submissive, I have a fantasy of pegging you.” And then follow it up with, “What do you fantasize about?”, you have not only expressed your desire, but you have made space for your partner to open up as well. Additionally, it reads more like a casual conversation about kink and you aren’t putting your partner on the spot or making them feel as if they need to give you a yes or no answer. 

If your partner is horrified by your desires, it’s likely you aren’t with the right person anyway. Of course they have the right to say no, but they don’t have the right to shame you or make you feel less than. Relationships are all about transparency, if you don’t have this, there isn’t much of a solid ground for the relationship to stand on.

What will we need?

If you’ve gotten your partner on board, congrats! It’s time for the next step. If you don’t have a strap on, consider making a purchase together. Sure, getting handed a strap-on and asked to fuck someone’s ass is a fantasy many women interested in pegging may have, but if you two are new to it, it’s more likely that you’ll have to pick out a strap on. And this is perfect! It’s important that the male partner choose something he’d be comfortable having inside him, and going together, whether doing some online shopping or in person, can be a foreplay of sorts. 

Additionally, if the two of you have never engaged in ass play at all, you can always start with things you already have on hand -- whether that be fingers, a vibrator or a small dildo. 

No matter what, you need lube!! This is non-negotiable, as the anus is not self-lubricating. 

Last, but not least, leave all stigmas at the door. Many men do not make it this far, and this is in part due to stigmas attached to men and anal sex. Whether it’s been drilled in your mind that being penetrated determines your sexual orientation, that it’s dirty or shameful -- whatever social stigmas exist around the topic, we urge you to acknowledge them and then look beyond them. Don’t let these false ideas get in the way of a good, explorative adventure with your partner.